If you are looking for colour recommendations, please do not call me.
Trust me, if you ask me to write an exam on colours, I will not be angry if I score an ‘F.’ You may think I am boring when it comes to playing with or around colours, I wish you would understand I am only trying to play it safe.
For as long as I can remember, I have played it safe with white, black, navy blue, and sky blue. Once in a while, I go the extreme by throwing purple and brown into the mix.
Boring right? Yes, I know.
It is not that I have not thought of experimenting with colours, I have tried. But unfortunately, whenever the thought crosses my mind, something just tells me I may eventually look like a masquerade when I try it out.
The first misunderstanding I had with my wife as we prepared for our wedding in 2013 was over the choice of colours.
I still remember how she kept running after me all because she wanted me to think through the wedding colours with her. Though I told her to go ahead as I was ok with whatever colour she settles for, she declined.
Instantly, I knew I was in trouble.
How was I to tell the love of my life that I had no idea about the topic she wanted us to talk about?
At some point, I had no choice but to finally confess my sins. I told her the guy she would be spending the rest of her life with has no idea when it comes to colours.
Eventually, we settled for colours that sat well with both of us.
These days, colours seem to have taken a more complex form. This is further complicated by those who get married every weekend in Nigeria.
Just in case I defy your colour code by wearing white, navy blue or sky blue to your wedding, please forgive me, It is not my fault.
How on earth do you expect me to understand the colour schemes that you have chosen to torment me with?
Where on earth do you expect me to find lion gold, pineapple yellow, watermelon pink or cucumber green?
How do I go to Wuse market to start searching for sand brown, ogbanje red and mami-water indigo?
Do you realize a measure of garri is now 600 Naira? Does that not bother you?
Are you not aware that the golden penny spaghetti that we bought for 80 Naira in 2012 is now 250 Naira in our local market in 2021?
Do you realise the National Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC) is set to increase electricity tariff once they conclude their ‘Extraordinary Review?
Are you not befuddled by these mindless increases here and there?
See ehn, if you’re inviting me to your wedding, please make it easy for me to wear colours that will not further compound my stress levels.
After all, the only thing I may eventually remember years after I attend your wedding is if I ate food or not.
Written by John Olugbemi