Just when we thought the world of relationships had seen it all, new terminology describing advanced behaviours of two people who are supposed to be in love or attracted to each other keeps coming up. First, it was “booty call” to describe people who do not want any form of commitment yet are sexually attracted to each other or people who are ashamed of the status or look or appearance of the man or woman and so decides to stick to having sexual intercourse at any interval. Thus, you are only invited or called upon when your “partner” wants to have sex.
Then came friends with benefits. Ha! this one had to do with friends who are not interested in committing to each other in a relationship. They some day desire to have a proper relationship, but in the absence of that they enjoy all the benefits in a relationship but stick to the position that they are friends and not lovers. Friends with benefits have occasional sex, buy gifts or even help with monetary contributions or other fringe benefits attached to a relationship yet one of the parties firmly maintains the position that they are “just friends.”
Then came situation ship, and thats the focal point of this article. Situationship is that odd space between a committed relationship and something a little bit more than a friendship as described by Jonathan Alpert. I also describe situationships as confusionship because the other party who is being taken on a roller coaster ride is always confused about the union. He or she might not be on the same page with his or her partner. Sometimes people in situationships operate under the false sense of security that they are in a relationship. They often confuse the non-committal attitude of their partner as his or her character and its usually heartbreaking when they discover that all along what they had was a situationship. That’s why its important to know how to detect if you are in a situationship. The 5 top reasons that tell you that you are in a situationship are:
- Never met his or her friends or family members: You have been with him or her for years and you haven’t met his or her family members or friends. My brother or my sister, you are in a situationship! For all you know him or her might have a serious relationship with another person known to his circle of friends and family members.
- All conversations are always of a sexual nature: Since you began meeting or hanging with this person, no meaningful conversation has taken place. All he or she talks about is how they can’t wait to get into your pants. This is because he or she does not value you. He or she sees you as a sexual gratification machine. Your only usefulness to him or her is the sexual intimacy. Flee… that’s a situationship!
- No future plans: Nobody is talking about the future of the “relationship” because it is a situationship! You will definitely not be in his or her future plans.
- Impromptu plans: Last minute plans are the order of the day. You always get last minute- afterthought invites to hangout with him or her. Now that’s a situationship!
- The “relationship” lacks consistency: If you are unsure of the next time you are meant to see him or her. Then just know its a situationship. He or she does not consider you important enough to map out time for you!
He or she tells outrightly tells you that you are in a situationship or they show you by their non-committal actions. They never really call you and even when you do call them, they owe you no apology for the long gap in communication. They never check up on you or show deep concern when you are ill. If you feel you are forcing yourself on the other person or if you know the feeling is not mutual. Just know its a situationship! Especially when you try to talk to the person to define it but that person becomes elusive or gives a vague response.