The crucial lesson that can be gleaned from the recent happenings of this sad incident is that no one should ever think being unfaithful is a right. I am not condoning the violence or the evil act of Maryam Sanda. The full weight of the law should be meted out on her to teach every violator a lesson that it is not business as usual. But this true life story reminds me of the Ebony life Production TV series the Sons  of the Caliphate, in that series Binta  warmed her way into the lives of 3 friends with the intent to ruin them. She had a personal vendetta unknown to them, yet she looked so innocent, harmless and very beautiful.  She ended up marrying one of the friends after wrecking havoc in the lives of some. In the first episode of season 2, Binta was seen with a knife and we were shown how she mercilessly stabbed her husband at the back before he overpowered her …. In fact the point I am making here is never underestimate anybody.

I am and will always be against domestic violence , are you? Or can someone provoke you into becoming physical ?  Uncontrolled anger can lead to so many disasters. There are mixed reactions to this incident, on one side of the debate are men who thinks cheating is their God given right and have come up with some hilarious content in the form of advise to fellow men. Please read it below:

 

In view of the unfortunate killing of that young man by his wife by stabbing him to death for cheating, i would like to proffer the following advise to my brothers………….
Keep 2 phones- 1 for not to be brought home but kept in the boot of the car downstairs.
Develop the habit of deleting as you read. It will save your life.
Take your wife for mental check up regularly
Save your girlfriends number with your mothers name. It’s a major repellent.
Change your password daily.
Never marry a quiet woman. The ones that will scream and slap will never kill you.
Never pretend to be faithful. Let them catch you once in a while. It’s training and will prepare them.
Lock up all the knives in your house and let her sign a register stating what she needs them for and allocate time frame for usage.
Regulate the usage of rat poison and other chemicals In the house. Make sure her mother or child taste your food before eating.
Regulate and supervise her relationship with her mother. That would cut off supply chain for arms.
Date secondary school girls they are not very needy and will not send texts at night
Sleep with your body ensconced in armour and borrow or buy okada helmet to protect the head 
Have a sit down with your wife and discuss possible methods of your death on the event of her catching you. This is to ensure a painless transition
When choosing a girlfriend go for the most beautiful and exotic that you can find. Since it is now a matter of life and death chop better so your death would be justified
The day your wife threaten you with a knife or any dangerous weapon, send her packing immediately; failure to do so will definitely result to your death.
Finally, update your will on a daily cos you will surely be caught.
Wise words from The Duke on this matter.

On the other hand are men who believes that women have taken the issue of domestic violence too far and as such are speechless as they have no defence for Maryam Sanda.  Whatever the case maybe and whatever opinions we have about this issue, it is high time we all learn lessons from this incident. It is often said that “a wise man learns from other people’s mistakes.” Here are lessons that should be learnt from the murder of Bilyamin Muhammed Bello by his wife Maryam Sanda after reading a text message on his phone. This murder is a crime of passion, the woman flew into a jealous rage and mercilessly stabbed the man.

  1. Never underestimate the power of jealousy: There is always a thin line between love and hatred. I must say at this point that Maryam Sanda must have loved her husband in some sort of twisted way. We don’t know what transpired in the relationship, but her passion must have been so strong to have eroded all forms of reasoning. Either that or she was drunk with plain and evil jealousy which drove her to murder.
  2. Cheating Is Not A Right: If you want to cheat remain single and keep having sex with anything and virtually everyone. Gone are the days when cheating was a guy’s thing or when a man could cheat and not suffer consequences of his action. Modern relationships have taken a twist in cheating and many spouses have lost their marriages on the altar of cheating. Some spouses file for divorce if they can deal with it and others have tried to work things out after many months of emotional torture.
  3. Never be hasty to jump into conclusions: When it comes to relationships, people are very quick at judging, partners are also quick in believing the worst of their spouse. When confronted with a challenge or tough situation, take a calm breath and walk away from the scene. Give yourself time to analyse and finalise. In fact  be slow to make haste. If Maryam Sanda had left the scene, her husband would still be alive today.
  4. Don’t Poke Your Nose Where It Does Not Belong: Most partners  make the mistake of rampaging through their spouse belongings( in this context I mean mobile phone) in the hope of finding clues, in the end they never like what they find. The mobile phone is quite personal and if you know you don’t have the heart to stomach whatever information you find there, then don’t touch it. I repeat DON’T TOUCH IT.  If you suspect him or her of cheating, engage the services of a private investigator or you can become one yourself. NB: Who knows? Bilyamin Muhammed Bello may have never cheated. But he can’t tell his side of the story now.
  5.  Walk Away From A Violent Relationship: There is really no need to keep up appearances because of the society or your friends or your colleagues or your parents. Domestic violence is both ways, once you notice it, please leave. God will forgive you for leaving( i.e for religious fanatics). There is really nothing to work out. Have you noticed that violators beg the most? Know it now, a leopard can never change its spots. So stop making excuses for your violent/abusive spouse. Just leave to safe your life because you might not be lucky next time.
  6. Be Vigilant: Never let your guard down if you have noticed traits of violence in your spouse. Search deeper to know the root cause of his or her violent acts. Also take him or her for a mental check-up. Who knows? You might have married a mentally derailed person. E no dey show for face o!
  7. Campaign Against Violence: We all should campaign against domestic violence, don’t just leave the work for NGOs and few individuals whom you have tagged feminists.( By the way a feminist is one who canvasses for equal rights for women and not one who supports every evil action of a woman) Nah! Everyone should preach it and speak against it. Domestic violence is closer than we can ever imagine. Now is the time to fight it off completely.

So these are the seven lessons every one should learn and if you have more feel free to hit the comment section and add yours.

 

Cheers!

 

By floramichaels

Hi, I am Flora Ngo-Martins. I love writing and I am passionate about fashion, stories, news and food. Sometimes I get a little bit serious but that's alright, I can also be mischievous. I also like to analyse stuffs people do and sometimes judge.*wink* Most of all, I love to influence the lives of people positively and tell people's stories from a totally different perspective. Feel free to contact me if you have any suggestions or....

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