Most times, we hurt our partners or loved ones because they hurt us or we feel their actions is a personal attack on us or an attempt to make us look bad in the presence of others. We get so upset that we spill the deepest secrets we shared with them in the thick of the romance or in the height of the friendship. Now, after the storm has passed and peace and calm engulfs us, we get embarrassed, feel bad and even feel suicidal for going to the extreme to retaliate but before we reach that point, here are 7 tips that can help us remain calm in the midst of storm in our relationships. This does not make us fools, it only makes us look wise, matured and respected the most.
- Our response to a particular situation can make it turn uglier than we expected. No matter how angry or upset someone has made us, it is always good to watch our response. Never jump into the middle of the fire with petrol. Rather say nothing than say something that will ignite the fire further.
- Don’t let your partner or friend’s attitude or behaviour towards you get to you. Lift your head high and walk down the path. It does not matter, that terrible attitude or behaviour towards you cannot remove one string of your hair neither can it make you lose your relevance.
- Don’t lose sleep over your partner or friend’s attitude towards you, they are not doing it because of you, they are behaving that way because of who they are.
- Always know that you are from different background, geographical locations and therefore different cultures and behaviours apply. Before you start blowing hot, remember that what is good in your culture maybe be bad in his or her culture and what is important in their culture may not be important in yours.
- Filter the criticism that is thrown your way, throw the destructive and malicious criticism and take the constructive criticism with a view to improving on it. Never let it crush you.
- Give your partner or that person the break he or she needs, remember that the hard, rude, wicked and mean exterior is what they use to hide their vulnerabilities. Rather than retaliate have compassion for your partner or friend and remain calm.
- Remember that the insults and nasty comments said about you is not who you are. Know your self-worth and don’t look for validation of your self-esteem and self-confidence from your partner or people.