As the 2016-2017 premier league begins its 25th season on Saturday 13 August, to run through 21 May 2017 it signifies different things for different people.

Here in Nigeria, it signifies the start of another quarrelsome year with their wives, for others it signifies relaxation and for the rest it signifies deprivation.  So, forward thinking husbands who know they cannot do without the premier league have devised means of pacifying and negotiating with their wives before the start of the season by the letter below written to all wives of football loving husbands.

Dear Wives,

It has been 4 months since you took over the remote control and lavished yourself with telemundo , other soap channels and took the centre stage of our weekends.

Because of our unending love, we have supported you and have had to learn the names of actors in most of the soaps including the episodes. We Even escorted you to those shopping errands and made us sit in cars like small boys .while you ran from one shop to another. We sat at a nearby car wash or bar while you where doing your hair. This was serious sacrifice from us. Since we have lived on the principle of doing unto others as we would like  others to do unto us, we look forward to your handing over the remote control for the decoder and TV for the upcoming soccer season which begins next Saturday 13th  August 2016 .  Thank you, Your loving husbands.

FMB have assisted the wives in drafting a response to their husbands.

Dearest Husbands,

Its been 3 months since the 2015-16 premier league ended and we did not really take over the remote control, remember shortly afterwards there was Copa America and Euro 2016 in quick succession and  the remote control became your baby.  We supported your teams as love demanded of us as we watched Rolando  and Messi play. We assisted you in watching the final between Portugal and France and Argentina and Chile  and sympathized with you when Rolando left the pitch due to his injury and Messi missed his penalty. This we all did because we love you dearly and we are loyal to your cause. But we dislike it when you transfer the love you have for us to the football games as your dotting over us stops and you hardly ever have time to stare at our faces or play with us.

Husbands, we are not against you watching the football games, all we want is that you don’t watch it the whole day and deprive us from our African magic, telemundo and movies. It is only when you want to watch all matches all day long including the build up before the match and the analysis after the match that we get mad at you.  You know we have to bear this nightmare and torture for the next 9months. Please make it bearable for us by watching only your team match excluding build ups and analysis afterwards.

Thank you Hubbies

Your faithful wives

Anyways, here is the schedule for the first few days:

Saturday 13 August

Hull City – Leicester City – 12.30pm                                    Crystal Palace -West Brom – 3.00pm

Burnley FC – Swansea City- 3.00pm                                   Everton – Tottenham – 3.00pm

Middlesbrough -Stoke city -3.00pm                                    Southampton -Watford -3.00pm

Man. City -Sunderland -5.30pm

Sunday 14 August

Bournemouth -Man United- 1.30pm

Arsenal – Liverpool – 4.00pm

Monday 15 August

Chelsea – West ham – 8.00pm

 

Cheers!

By floramichaels

Hi, I am Flora Ngo-Martins. I love writing and I am passionate about fashion, stories, news and food. Sometimes I get a little bit serious but that's alright, I can also be mischievous. I also like to analyse stuffs people do and sometimes judge.*wink* Most of all, I love to influence the lives of people positively and tell people's stories from a totally different perspective. Feel free to contact me if you have any suggestions or....

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